Words have tremendous power. They can build or destory relationships. They can determine the direction of your life.

Like arrows, once a word is spoken it cannot be called back. One of life’s greatest challenges is to harness the tongue!

Words can hit like a fist and hurt, or they can soothe, comfort, guide and teach. How we use words to hurt or help others is our choice–their reaction is not. Words are powerful tools for influencing others and can pace, lead, and direct our thoughts. They can even influence the direction of our destiny.

Words lead our thinking and form mental pictures. As an example, what would come to your mind if I told you NOT to think about a pink elephant? You just thought of a pink elephant, didn’t you? In fact, the more I would tell you not to think about the big pink elephant with yellow ears and big green spots, the more vivid the picture of her would come into your mind. Even if you forced yourself to think of something else, you had to think about the big pink elephant first in order to know what it was you were not supposed to think about.

Our words create attitudes and mental pictures for others. Our attitudes toward other people, and our thoughts create our mental pictures which greatly influences the words we speak to others. We can attract others to us or push them away by our words. Therefore, it is important to choose our words carefully. Words can have a strong positive or negative effect—all by themselves.

Words to Avoid for a Better Relationship

A book of rules include the following list of words to make a point. However, when they are used in conversations, the words are usually perceived as being harsh. They may automatically set a negative polarity in the other person and tend to take away the person’s own power and free-will. Some of these words act as commands; others diminish any exceptions to a differing opinion. Often, these words can make the other person feel “cornered” and may be detrimental to a relationship.

• SHOULD
• OUGHT
• MUST
• HAVE TO
• ALL
• EVERY
• ALWAYS
• NEVER
• TRY
• BUT
• CAN’T
• DON’T
• IMPOSSIBLE

Replacement Words

The following words and word combinations are “flufy words.” They expand parameters. They tend to empower the other person and encourage them to search for options. They are also good words to improve relationships. These words are very useful in teaching as they lead people into thinking and becoming more self-disciplined.

• IF
• WHAT IF
• HOW
• HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
• MAY
• YOU MAY WANT TO
• PERHAPS YOU COULD
• PERHAPS
• CURIOUS
• WONDER
• SO
• AND

“If I understand you correctly…”

This is one of the most effective phrases to encourage others to think and talk!

Six Important Words:

I am sorry. & I love you.

More important than what we say is what someone perceives we said.

We are all still learning, and we are all at our own level of growth. Others react and learn from our words. Our words and their tone can help create more harmony in our life, in our home, and in our relationships. We can reap heavenly and miraculous results with our words. And as the Scriptures teach us, “Whatsoever we soweth, that also shall we reap.”